From Birthday Reflections to Book Inspirations

Today is my 45th birthday and I spent the morning with the kids of Lotus Academy for Excellance. They wore me out, but not before inspiring a new Panic Pages for Kids book. Stayed tuned for details. The idea is still just notes in my book right now. This update will also cover my latest escapades trying to create and sell books on TikTok and other places online and other topics.

Happy 45th spin around the sun to me!

This is my birthday. I usually either overplan for the day—which usually ends in disappointment or I hide and ignore the day completely. This year, I decided to go with whatever the day brings. I have learned of other ways to reward and pamper myself through the year, which relieves the pressure to make today special.

While I would LOVE to have a spectacular birthday blowout, I am not holding out for it. After four decades of low key and forgotten birthdays, I have decided to spend the ones that I have left just enjoying my life. I do have to say that today, that strategy is working very well.

I am just so blessed and grateful to be living on this planet one more year. I’m 45, still have my edges, and I love my life.

I recently caught a glimpse of my reflection in one of the building windows as I walked through DU campus. I was wearing one of my favorite low cut dresses with a full and flowy skirt, black boots almost to my knees, spring twisted hair and red wine colored lips. I looked like the woman I imagined myself to be when I was younger.

I a quite the daydreamer, always have been. As a girl, I used to dream of what I would look like in my 40s. I knew that I would be a writer, not an old-looking one. I would be stylish and unafraid to wear whatever I wanted. I stopped myself after catching my reflection in the window that day. I saw HER. And she was ME. I cried. He to redo my mascara and liner before my class started.

Now, at 45, my life is nowhere near ideal at the moment. There are still some pieces missing, loose ends to tie up. However, just knowing that I looked like HER was more than enough motivation for me. It meant I was on the right track. And that I was already a person that kid Jo would absolutely love.

This morning, I attended a career fair at the Lotus School for Excellance in Aurora.

The kids (of Lotus School For Excellance) love Panic Pages

This morning, I attended a career fair at the Lotus School for Excellence in Aurora. I was the “writer” career, so my goal was to talk to kids about what real writers do. I ended up settling on book publishing—self-publishing vs. traditional publishing. To keep the kids entertained, I also have a table full of coloring pages from my Panic Pages for Neurodivergent Kids book, crayons and markers. After the event, the table looked like a battleground after war. Broken crayons, stray papers from other tables, half-colored sheets and broken tipped pencils. I was parched from answering, explaining and repeating all the information. Two hours and I was drained.

I did takeaway some great feedback and insight from the kids. First, I was impressed at how many wanted to be artists and writers. The teachers even routed kids who loved writing and drawing to my table. Those were the best conversations. They wanted to know about the amount of words I wrote, how long the books took, when did I start and more. The kids were supposed to go to each table to explore opportunities. In each group that came into the area, there was two or three who got to my table and stayed. A group of the older kids asked for my autograph on their coloring page!

I spoke to those kids like I wished someone would have talked to me at that age.

““Yes, you need some college courses to make a living as a writer, too. You need some business classes, marketing, writing, and literature courses too.”

“Artists create books, too. Creatives have more than one way to earn money, so don’t count out creating books if you are an artist.”

“It will take some time to find your style. So, don’t be afraid to explore and read everything. All writers read books by other writers.”

“Traditional publishing is great, but mixing self-publishing with traditional is a way to keep control of some of your projects. Try other types of writing project too.”

There was a lot more. Some of the kids loved the sample page that I have available to them at the career day event. They even suggested another book. “Cuz we might get done with this one fast! You need a second one.” I think they are right. Plans are already in motion for a second Panic Pages for Neurodivergent Kids.

A few of the kids really got into the page, “where is number 16?” and “How did you make this but forget where the numbers are?” I was happy for the engagement.

One student leaned over the table, tapped my on the arm and whispered, “I have ADHD too!” she then shot me a front-toothless grin and asked to pet my (fidget) dragon. She wanted to be a writer when she grew up. I spoke with her and other students about how I tailored my career for my ADHD. A few teachers even came over to share their neurodivergent journeys as well.

My heart was so full upon leaving the school. Sometimes, its really tough out here, trying to grow the Panic Pages while fighting personal battles. Then, I realize that I am the person that I would have loved to see when I was school-aged.  A Black woman whose brained was wired a bit different, but she was still a writer and was creating her own book company.

My 9 year old self would’ve melted into tears from the overstimulation such a sight would have brought. I think the image would have given me more confidence as I built my career as well. I wouldn’t have felt like “the only one,” or the “first one.” I would’ve avoided so many meltdowns, and sleepless nights wondering if I was on the wrong path. I hope that I gave some kids that kind of hope today. I know I did. A girl from the kindergarten/first grade group stayed at my table for her group’s entire session, peppering me with questions. Before she left, the girl asked me,” Are you happy to be what you always wanted.”

“Yes!” I told her. “Absolutely, yes.”

And, I am.

Goodbye to YES! Magazine, find the articles on The Black CAPE Magazine soon

I just read the news that Yes! Magazine is closing its doors in June. This is a sad moment for me, because some of my best work is printed in the mag’s print pages and online.

I do intend to archive my articles from the page, by republishing them on The Black CAPE Magazine, my very own entertainment space on Medium.

I will miss the Yes! Editors that I worked with over the years Lornet Turnbull, Somali Kohatkar, Chris Winter, and others. The world is losing a great space for freelance writers and some of the most progressive thinking that was in print and online.

Subscribe to The Black CAPE Magazine to get notifications when those articles are posted. I’ll try to update links on Rotten Tomatoes and other spaces as I can.

Discounts on Panic Pages in the Shopify store NOW!

In honor of my Lotus school friends, I am running a special for the weekend. Click this link to get $5 off all Panic Pages books until May 13.

This cannot be combined with the $4.50 off in celebration of my birthday. That discount runs through midnight on my birthday, May 9. The code is HappyBDay. It also works in the Etsy store.

Journaling for Self-Discovery Session 3 takes place tomorrow

The third and final workshop on Journaling for Self-Discovery, in partnership with Point Creative Supplies, 3377 Blake St Ste 103, Denver on May 10 at 10 AM. Tickets are still available on Eventbrite. Get yours today.

Those are my updates. Follow me on social media to stay in touch. Give me a happy birthday shoutout in the comments. I would also love suggestions on things to do in Denver this summer.

Until next time!